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The Triumphant return of the Mike Tomlin Press Response Generator!

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Please, feel free to submit any questions you have for Coach Mike Tomlin. They will be answered in due course.

I had one...

Why didn't you use your fullback on short yardage situations Sunday night?

Luck is for guys with cheap shoes, and we accept that. We went in at halftime, we evaluated. I have standards to uphold and I will hold them up, at some point.
 
“What was going through your mind when Chris Boswell kicked that awesome field goal to slice the lead to 17?”
 
What kind of problems did your offense face on Sunday that you believe you can rectify this year?

Reflection is a luxury for a guy with a broken mirror, as defined by the events around us. The field was not the problem today. We'll be thoughtful in putting together a plan to minimize the adversity, and things of that nature.
 
What was going through your mind when Chris Boswell kicked that awesome field goal to slice the lead to 17?

There will be changes, and they will be commensurate with the order of the day, obviously. We were below the line today. We'll let the guys' availability and then quality be our guide, and things of that nature.
 
On the national telecast, I saw a pretty big looking guy wearing #79 standing on the sidelines. What is his role on the team?
 
Who exactly does the defensive in game adjustments?

Adversity is the best tool of a good lockpick, we don't dwell on the ghosts of christmas past. We are willing to explore options that gives us the very best chances. We are worried about a myriad of things. Obviously when you don't have clarity you are going to go with your best-guess scenario, to be determined.
 
Why was Moncrief still on the field and JaWash and D.Johnson on the sidelines?

And why so many targets to Switzer?

And why not incorporate Vance into the game plan early on instead of garbage time.

And when the **** are you leaving?!!!


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What pedigree would Skipper have had to have to beat out one of the scrub backups for a permanent roster spot?

Also how much production would an udfa need to leapfrog a bad premium draft pick on the team?
 
“What was going through your mind when Chris Boswell kicked that awesome field goal to slice the lead to 17?”

"A mosquito, if you will, or some other ambient, flying insect life form. I do not live in my fears of insects flying through my vacuous cranium, obviously, and I postulated that a mere 9 more field goals would knot up the contest, and with a confident Bos in overtime, we had the game in the can, and finish above the line."
 
To what pedigree is Tyler Matakevich that he would tow a line above and beyond that of Skipper Tuzar?
 
Hey coach Tomlin. You just lost 33-3. Any changes next week?

MT: the standard is the standard


Coach Tomlin are you concerned about the defensive back field?

MT: We don’t live in our fears. We live in our Hopes.




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Killing me again wig. I wish the actor Omar Epps could be convinced to do a parody series of Tomlin.
 
Usually the opposing team.

This is the 3rd time I have offered the following visual, which in and of itself should cause alarm. If the same very, very bad **** keeps happening, does anybody with the Steelers notice?? Any way, here goes:

How Steelers defenders view their defense:

main-qimg-4724e02f3f7393caf460de69075f011a


How opposing QB's view the Steelers defense:

two-plus-equal-four-concept-260nw-284879681.jpg
 
On the national telecast, I saw a pretty big looking guy wearing #79 standing on the sidelines. What is his role on the team?

Not every story has a middle part, nevertheless. We accept responsibility for that. We want to compete and get this negative taste out of our mouth, at some point.

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Will the team is prepared for the 1pm start since it was not ready for Primetime?

When you lose your way, you just pull on that string, we don't dwell on the ghosts of christmas past. That question has been brought up repeatedly and appropriately so. I have standards to uphold and I will hold them up, in some instances.

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Why was Moncrief still on the field and J.Wash and D.Johnson on the sidelines?

I'm not one to mince words, we don't dwell on the ghosts of christmas past. The field was not the problem today. We will sort through those things as we prepare for our work week, that's not happenstance.

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And why so many targets to Switzer?

There's a reason fans have screens over the blades, for the record. We made some minor adjustments that probably aren't visible to the naked eye. We're gonna actively seek victory, for the record.

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And why not incorporate Vance into the game plan early on instead of garbage time.

If you're afraid, bears can smell it, and things of that nature. We did have a fellow named Hank apply as a position coach, but he did not pass our background check. We will raid the fridge and make a midnight snack, deterministically.

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And when the **** are you leaving?!!!

Our course is clear, as defined by the events around us. Halftime is a time for silent reflection. We will make changes that may not be visible to the naked eye, that's not happenstance.

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What pedigree would Skipper have had to have to beat out one of the scrub backups for a permanent roster spot?

I've got a great deal of respect for the process, but I don't want to get mired down in the minutiae. There is inherent risk in this game. We'll walk that tightrope and go into the stadium with no excuses there, given the situation.

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Also how much production would an udfa need to leapfrog a bad premium draft pick on the team?

You don't take a girl to prom until AFTER you've bought a corsage, as defined by the events around us. Ben has a knee. We'll let the guys' availability and then quality be our guide, deterministically.

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To what pedigree is Tyler Matakevich that he would tow a line above and beyond that of Skipper Tuzar?

Fear is a warm beer served on a hot day, and that's how we approach these things. They've earned their stripes in the professional football league. We will absorb the negativity associated with our current situation, in some instances.

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Why did you move your bowels on national tv?

I can't speak for myself, per se. Here you have some guys who have put it all on tape. I'm not going to comment on that, we don't dwell on the ghosts of christmas past.

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Hey coach Tomlin. You just lost 33-3. Any changes next week?

Fate doesn't date guys with poor hygiene, if you will. You're dealing with new and different venues. We'll be able to glean some learning experiences from these situations, from an Xs and Os point of view.

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Coach Tomlin are you concerned about the defensive back field?

Steel has a way of resisting heat, at some point. I will have to look at the film and see where that all falls into play. We will turn over stones, to be determined.
 
The creepy thing is how the generator actually "sorta" answers questions. I'm wondering if he didn't just steal my generator at some point and have it set to voice-capture when people ask him questions...
 
(Cause I had to...)

Do you have any comments regarding the AB rape allegations?

Sometimes you got to cut your eyelids off when you want to blink we embrace that. Negativity has a way of replicating ver-batim. We will sort through those things as we prepare for our work week, at some point.
 
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