Completely innocent man rues accidentally surrounding himself with criminals
                                      
		
		
	
	 
Completely innocent President of  the United States Donald Trump has once again been left surprised at  the fact one of his closest advisers has been found guilty on several  federal charges.
 As Roger Stone was found guilty of lying to Congress, obstruction of  justice and witness tampering, Donald Trump took to social media to  express his complete surprise that yet another close associate is now a  federal criminal.
 “This is crazy,” he is said to have told a White House aide, “How do these criminals keep on getting jobs in my inner circle?
 “I can’t understand how someone as innocent as I am – which is  completely innocent by the way, so innocent, totally – can be surrounded  at all times by people who keep being found guilty of serious crimes.
 “Anyone from the outside looking in might jump to the conclusion that  someone surrounded by criminals is also a criminal, but obviously  that’s not the case because I am a completely innocent man who just  happens to be surrounded by criminals.
 “I can’t believe Roger is also guilty, the same way I couldn’t  believe Paul Manafort was guilty, or that Michael Cohen was guilty, or  that Michael Flynn was guilty, or that George Papadopoulos was guilty,  or that Rick Gates was guilty.
 “But even if you believe that they are all guilty, then the obvious  conclusion is that I am innocent, because what sort of idiot would  knowingly surround themselves with so many criminals?
 “Not me, because as you all know, I am a very stable genius.”